This week we found out that one of my brother's close childhood friends passed away. Today was the funeral. As I got ready to go I could hear the voices and giggles of my loved ones close by, I looked out the upstairs bathroom window to see Ryan and the kids playing together on the trampoline. I couldn't help but reflect on how much time I spend worrying about things... I'll be the first to admit the thrill i get from a new shirt, my love affair with my car, my high standards for the house i live in, my constant desire to acquire newer, better, cooler things - i love things. but if all my things were taken away from me in a moment and i were suddenly homeless, carless, posessionless and (hopefully not totally) naked, i know i'd be just fine if i could still hear the voices of those people that i love near by.
Today has been an emotional rocker for me as I've tried to keep it together. Rob was a great friend to my brother, one of my first schoolgirl crushes and an all around awesome guy. I think the real heart wrencher for me is the way I feel his family must be feeling today. I just lost it when his mom and dad walked in behind his casket. What would I do if I were burrying my son or daughter today? I have a firm belief in a happy and hopeful afterlife, but i'm also just plain selfish. I know when I lose my loved ones that the day will come when we will embrace again, that on this earth is not the last time I will see their face - but how will I handle the days in between? the days when I don't get to see their face and hear their voice?
It was a good reminder for me to rearrange my priorities back into the proper order, a reminder to seek out those I love and invest in them.
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