the end of another era

the past few days have held a couple conversations and events that have really solidified this realization in my mind - the begining of summer will be the end of an era for our family, dare i say... my favorite of my life so far.

We will add a third kid to the miller lineup - which is a giant adjustment in itself,
Ryan will NOT be a student - a change we have been counting down and excited for, but at the same time will be a hard lifestyle to let go of,
Ryan will begin the demanding schedule of an orthopedic surgery resident - and if you don't know him like I do you may not realize how seriously he takes this - he is so excited to start focussing completely on the specialty that he has chosen and to learn the skills he needs to become the best surgeon he can become and truth be told, it's just a time consuming process.
Bel is officially signed up for preschool - for me this is a big deal, because she is my first child and this is the first time one of my kids will be away from me for a significant amount of time, plus she'll be in the influence and instruction of someone else and while I trust the her preschool is a safe place, that her teachers are good people and the kids who she'll be with probably won't be awful - it's just the begining of the end...

...the end of my favorite era of life. The simple, stay-at-home, student years during which I have always had one arm and one leg for each child, the time when we have had no schedule except the one we want to create for ourselves, the time when they have loved and relied on mom and dad alone, the years that Ryan had a summer vacation, that sweet window of time when my minature comrades giggle and play and talk together more than they cry and whine and fight, when all my kids agree that mom and dad are the strongest and the smartest and the best, the years that they are our world and we are theirs.

I will miss the ability to pick up my life and transplant it somewhere else for 3 months, I will miss being so needed and adored by my children, I will miss being there for every moment of my kids' lives, I will miss the simplicity of it all and ok, ok, I will miss all the control and power I have over what enters my children's bodies and minds and I will miss them.

Please don't misunderstand this, I am looking forward to so many things about the future - near and far - but I also know what a good thing I have right now and I am hesitant for it to change.

So I just had to take a minute to write down that I noticed this moment of my life, that I love it, I appreciate it, and I will miss it when it trickles away into a different era.