the healing powers of pancake city...

...and a few thoughts on tender mercies.

quite the juxtaposition of thoughts already right? I'm sorry to put yet another warning out there to all of you light readers and blog photo scanners but this is another long one.

I don't know if it's the changing seasons or the pregnancy but I feel compelled to write "corny things in semi public places" (as my sister so aptly put it) so this blog has become my journal lately.

Anyhow - today was one of those days that started out just dandy but took a downward turn and can only be described as a "grrrrrrr day". I won't go into the silly details but I just couldn't make Bel happy, lost my cool and felt crappy about the whole situation. I wanted to deal with this and fix it on my own but I just felt like a bad mom and didn't know what to do to bust out of that rut. After about a minute of feeling sorry for myself and wondering what to do, my sweet honey emerged for a study break and made his girls laugh as only he can. He called me a supermom and reminded me that life is good - What a tender mercy to have a companion who can put his own overwhelming stresses aside to help me deal with my moments of rage and frustration. Then as we had a short family wrestle on the floor, with me wishing Ryan didn't have a massive test in the morning, I got an invitation to join some friends for dinner at Pancake City. I think it goes without saying that they serve breakfast all day, but let me give a little background to why this was such a tender mercy for me. Simply put - I love pancakes. Pancakes are my personal cure all comfort food - if I'm lonely, upset, bored or need a mood boost - I make pancakes. Since my sweet little gal needed my attention and I needed to stop whining, pancake city was the perfect cure for our needs. A special thanks to the mom who listened to the spirit and didn't cook dinner tonight - you never know when you're being an instrument in the God's hands (I guess you know this time)

After a good dose of sugar for dinner the Miller girls were feeling much better. To top off the day and drive the lesson home Heavenly Father blessed me with a tender mercy that will live in my mother's heart forevermore. I turned on some music while I was holding Bel - she didn't miss a beat and started grooving like I've never seen an 18 month old groove before, then she cuddled into my chest laughing and laughing. She'd obviously forgiven and forgotten my unacceptable behavior to her earlier today.

Alma 28:8 says, "And this is the account of Ammon and his brethren, thier journeyings in the land of Nephi, their sufferings in the land, their sorrows, and their afflictions, and their incromprehensible joy". I've read this in the past and wondered what incomprehensible joy feels like - this may seem a little bold, but I feel like I know now. For my scope of understanding, I know what it feels like to me - I could never make someone comprehend the joy I felt this evening as my daughter danced/laughed/cuddled in my arms, just as Ammon and his brothers couldn't adequately record their sufferings and joys - but for the level I am at right now, I am so satisfied. Another important element to this scripture is all the stuff listed before the incomprehensible joy - to attain and earn that incomprehensible joy you must first (and throughout life) journey and suffer and have sorrow and afflictions. When you know the bitter you can more fully comprehend and appreciate the sweet. My best moments as a wife, mother and person are after my worst moments - those are the days I have learned valuable lessons in patience, humility, sacrifice and love - those are the days I make an account of - those are the days I remember.