off to school

Thursday, September 5 was Bel's first day of school - she's a big kindergartner now.

She was pretty excited for her first day and a little nervous too I think.  It's the first day in her life she didn't want breakfast, although I did eventually get her to agree to a smoothie (pb, banana, spinach - just for the record).

We were all pretty excited and wanted to be sure she didn't miss the bus, so we were outside at 7:15am, as instructed, and there we waited off and on and around the porch for 35 minutes

till we saw the big, yellow, kid snatching, mother heart stealing bus round the corner.

She got on the bus like a champ,

 turned around, gave her mom a big smile

and disappeared.

I think every mom has to confront their emotions at some point as they send their oldest off to school for the first time.  For me it happened days before Bel even left.  One night the kids were in bed, Ryan was working and I was alone - alone with my thoughts and my cleaning.  As I went through the piles of paper i decided it was time to go through the giant stack I had received at back to school night and that's when it hit me - that for 7 hours a day 5 days a week my bel would leave my sight and my home, leave my rules and my control, leave our routine and our company and I wept.  I wept for the time I've wasted and for the time I will miss out on, I wept in frustration that she got the teacher I hoped she wouldn't,  I wept that I will be missing so many firsts, I wept that I will not know what she is doing all the time, I wept because for 5 1/2 years she has been my almost constant companion and because, simply, I will miss her.  And I know, from the mouths of so many parents and grandparents who have told me in the store in moments of happiness, chaos and frustration that... "these years go by so fast" and there they are - gone.  And every morning there she goes - gone.

the last couple weeks have been an adjustment period for us and it's not over yet...  It has been with ups and downs, tears and anxiety that these first 11 days of school have passed.  I was so excited for her, I loved school and Bel loved preschool and i wanted so badly for her to fall in love with school right away, but we don't always get what we want and that's ok.  i think the challenges being thrown her way will be good for her and good for me too.

But Bel isn't the only one off to school this year...
On Tuesday, September 3 Jack had his first day of Preschool.

He's toe tapping excited.

Gosh he's cute. He was feeling pretty independent and brave today.  He had to do all kinds of things by himself, including buckle his backpack - he always asks me to do this for him.

It is the preschool program at the YMCA, where Bel attended last year.  When we dropped off Bel, he asked over and over again, "when is my turn to go to school?" so i signed him up and now it's his turn.

He put his back pack in his cubbie

and into the class room he went, he turned to wave goodbye and Bel's protective, motherly instinct kicked in - watch...

So she helped him find his name tag and pinned it on for him (oh how i loved this moment - they fight and say mean things on a regular basis but above all else they love each other and there's no denying that they are best friends)

then it was time for us to go.  We played outside at the park for a while, then walked by to try to sneak a peek on our boy.  What a treat that the only kid we could see through the small space of visibility was just the kid we wanted to see - coloring away and looking so happy.

I'm pretty proud of these two for heading off to school with such excitement.  Here's hoping they'll continue to be brave and kind Miller kids.